Make no mistake about it: across the generations, celebrating Hanukkah in my family has been glitter-filled, tasty, and a little raucous. Debates about the relative merits of thin latkes vs. fat ones, of applesauce vs. sour cream, have been known to rage for hours. And, whether on small budgets or abundant ones, gifts selected with thoughtfulness (and often a bit of stealth) have been wrapped in shiny blue or gold paper and tied up with bows.
Over the past six decades, these glittery, festive Hanukkah moments have been used by the parents and grandparents on our family tree to give little ones and teens a taste of what it means to be Jewish, a small bite at a time. As you may know, Hanukkah means “dedication,” which our family learned to think about not only as the dramatic story of ancient rededication of the Temple after the Maccabean war against Antiochus IV, but also the opportunity to rededicate ourselves to some key Jewish values here and now, in our own lives.
As far back as I remember, in addition to reading the Hanukkah story on the first night, and saying the blessings and lighting the candles throughout the week, our family has also read what we call “the script,” a collection of mini-essays written by Dore Schary, an American writer and movie producer, shortly after World War II. Schary attributed a different principle to each night of Hanukkah and prepared a two-or-three-paragraph commentary on each of his selected themes: faith, freedom, courage, love, charity, integrity, knowledge, and peace. As a pre-schooler, I would have sworn each selection went on for hours while we waited to open those shiny gifts, but once I could take a turn reading the comments aloud they went much more quickly, and by the time I was a mom myself, I could see that they’re really very brief – no more than two or three minutes.
Over the years, I began to especially look forward to Mr. Schary’s observations on particular subjects, such as this passage from the reading on courage:
“Part of the word ‘courage’ comes from the French word, coeur, which means heart. We find references to this in our everyday speech. We speak of a person’s strong heart, stout heart, plenty of heart, and so on.”
Or this section from what he wrote about integrity:
“This is a good, hard, real word, a word that means honesty and firmness of mind and purpose.”
And certainly this one about love, which also came to stick with me year-round and shape my understanding as I grew up:
“Love is a beautiful word. It is soft and warm to the ear. Love is a beautiful feeling. And there are all kinds of love for so many different things. We love our children and our parents. We love our mates. We love God by enjoying and appreciating the miracle of life bestowed upon us. We love friends and relatives. We love a holiday or a rainy day. We love the sound of children laughing, of a family melody, of a wave upon the shore.”
The script-reading ritual came to be an integral part of Hanukkah tradition in my family. Still, like all good Jews, and especially good Reform Jews, some among us began to argue with the text and a few eventually took it upon ourselves to revise the script to align with the changing zeitgeist and our personal viewpoints. At various times, my father, Dan and I, and one of my nieces have all created updated versions that more closely reflect our values and interests. For example, in the edition we created for the Hanukkah before our wedding, Dan and I added “humor” as a principle; looking back at the decades of marriage since then, I’d say that it was fortunate we had put that firmly in mind!
Dore Schary’s Hanukkah essays still exist outside my family, but they’re hard to find in print. (One clue is this link to what United Synagogue of America calls Schary’s “Hanukkah Home Service” http://books.google.com/books/about/Hanukkah_Home_Service.html?id=PvWDtwAACAAJ.) Still, you can draw on resources like “Reflections of Light: A Guide to a Meaningful Celebration of Hanukkah,” which is published by the Bay Area Jewish Healing Center (www.jewishhealingcenter.org) or develop your own eight-night series of readings or questions based on your favorite books, poems, songs, or original writing.
Finally, bringing an element of “dedication” into the holiday can involve taking action by explicitly tying Hanukkah celebration to serving the community, such as helping out at Elisha’s Pantry (contact CST’s Stephen Harper at [email protected]), Meals on Wheels (http://www.councilonaging.com/meals-on-wheels/), Habitat for Humanity (https://www.habitatsoco.org/), or other organizations you can connect with through the Sonoma County Volunteer Center (http://www.volunteernow.org/volunteers/volunteer-opportunities-with-the-volunteer-center.aspx). For our daughter, Winter tikkun o’lam activities made dedication about more than words and they were fun family times that we can remember forever.
However you choose to celebrate, best wishes from our family to yours for a fun and festive holiday. May the Hanukkah lights shine brightly on you. Hanukkah sameach!