As I write this blog over the Memorial Day weekend I am struck by how different our observance is compared to Israel’s.
We were in Tel Aviv for Yom Hazikaron/Memorial Day this year and, unlike in the States, there are no Memorial Day sales in Israel, nor does it signal the first long weekend/party of the summer. Rather, it is a day of personal and collective mourning for those lost in the various wars Israel has fought as well as those murdered by terrorist attacks. There are many private memorials on that day; families gather in cemeteries all over the country in a collective act of mourning and memory. There are a number of large, public commemorations as well.
We were in Rabin Square for Yom Hazikaron, standing with thousands of Israelis of all ages to hear the stories of those recently killed—we watched as the surviving family members were interviewed and broadcast on huge video screens on the sides of the stage—and to remember all those others who have given their lives so that the State of Israel may live. I cried through the whole thing. We were all amazed at how reverent this huge crowd with so many young people was for the two hours we were there. In addition to all the memorials held on Yom Hazikaron, a siren sounds twice across the whole country, once at 8PM the evening of the commemoration and again at 11AM the next morning. The siren is heard all over the country and lasts for one full minute, during which Israelis stop everything (including driving, which stops highways) and stand in utter silence, commemorating the fallen and showing respect.
The contrast between the way we “celebrate” Memorial Day with sales and parties and the way Israel commemorates Yom Hazikaron begs the question: why? What underlying cultural differences result in such different responses to the same phenomenon, the same loss? What comes to mind for me is the fact that while our army is mostly invisible to us, Israel has a citizen’s army; almost everyone serves and rare is the family who has not been touched by the dark hand of death either through armed conflict or terrorist attack. We can party and feed our lust for stuff on Memorial Day because most of us don’t know anyone in the army let alone anyone killed or wounded in service to our country. The anonymity of our armed forces not only allows us to “celebrate” Memorial Day, it also makes it a lot easier for us to send them to places like Iraq and Afghanistan. Would we be in either country if we had a citizen’s army like Israel does? Would you send your son, your daughter there? A few folks in the congregation have made the sacrifice and of course we have Cantor David, who served as a Chaplain all over the Middle East and is now in the Reserves. Kol hakavod/All honor to you! But rare is the exception, especially in the Jewish community. Much more common is a disconnect between our soldiers and us; we don’t see them, know them, or really care much about their welfare. (How else can you explain the deplorable care many vets receive when they come home?)
The Talmud teaches that “no one’s blood is redder than anyone else’s.” Israeli soldiers are no dearer than American soldiers. Both deserve to be remembered and honored, cared for both while they fight for us and certainly when they come home. But even more important, whether Israeli or American, we owe it to every solider to contemplate our reasons for sending him or her to war, and to be absolutely certain that our reasons are worthy of the sacrifice we ask of them.
Zchronam L’bracha/May they all be remembered for a blessing….
As I was reading your comments the thought immediately arose that Israel is a small country, in size and population and we are, of course, a large one. Every Israeli must live with the knowledge that conflict is possible at any time and that their family or friends (or both) may be in harm’s way. The last time we were largely touched by war was World War II and in the years immediately after the war Memorial Day was very different in this country than it is today. Many veterans wore uniforms or parts of uniforms, religious services were held and people went to cemeteries or memorial sites.
We stopped caring about our service members with Viet Nam where members in uniform risked public humiliation if they stepped off the military installation in their uniform. We didn’t want to respect those service members and we largely stopped honoring their fathers and mothers as well.
Well said R.George. I wish your words had a wider circulation because there is much there that the general community needs to know about Jewish thought and actions. Also, I think the general community needs better leadership in order to function with more awareness of the price of war, and the responsibilities of the community to the returning veterans. I, for one, am very worried that there are individuals in our government who are chomping at the bit to get involved against ISIS and to take more direct action in that sphere of action. I worry that even our governing leaders are ill informed about the complexity of the various “parties” in the Middle East and will support or attack with OUR men and women in a maelstrom of conflicting values and interests. And Israel is in the midst of all of it. I hope and pray that wiser heads will prevail.
Thank you, Rabbi- thank you for calling our attention to what Memorial Day has become in this country.
In comparison to Israel’s observance….ours is shameful. A re examination of values here in the U.S. is
needed and hoped for. ??where does one start?
Again …thanks,
Blessings to you,
Phyllis
I never thought about these differences between our Memorial Day celebration and Israel’s Remembrance Day.
We happened to be there during the Israeli observance of Yom Hashoah last year. Our taxi driver explained to us, in advance, what to expect. I think it was at 11:00 a.m. when the sirens went off while we were in our hotel room in Ramat Gan .
We were able to see, from our room, all traffic stop, and all drivers get out of their cars and stand at attention for the entire time the sirens sounded. It was a very powerful sight and moment, one that we will never forget. However, it didn’t trigger an analogy for us between how we observe, most irreverently, holidays like Veteran’s Day and Memorial Day in the United States and the process by which Israel gives honor to their soldiers and veterans.
Your comments triggered for us both an intellectual and emotional awareness of the bigger picture- of life, loss, and suffering- and the ultimate price paid by mainly young people and all those who knew and loved them.
Thank you for your insight and observations, and for bringing these invaluable lessons to our attention.
Warmest Regards,
Myra & Hank Slatoff
Rabbi,
Your blog started me thinking about the disconnect we see in our community and what I remember growing up, so I did some very quick, back of the napkin research that might be of interest. We live in a very liberal part of the county, with Sonoma county registered voters at 52% dem / 23% rep. The military, both active and veteran, tends to be much more Replublican, with only 17% identifying as Democrats (to be fair, most identify as independent). Growing up in the Northeast, I remember Memorial Day as a day to celebrate those serving now and honoring veterans, like my Uncle that passed a couple years ago). My guess in that in San Diego (where over 10% of the population is on active duty) and the East Coast and South, which are more republican, the feeling of connectedness to the military may be dramatically different, but still worth discussion. In Northern California, less than .1% are on active duty with our military.
My brother was a Marine and I was in the Air Force ROTC program before poor eyesight caused me to give up flying jets, but every Memorial Day, my brother and I talk about our Uncle, who was on Iwo Jima. Guevara and I also lived in Wash DC for several years and the celebration there is not about big box retail discounts, it coalesces around the veterans. (as an aside, I used to commute by bike through Arlington Natl Cemetery to work every day). The comparison to how Israel celebration and honors their military on memorial day is interesting and it might be enlightening to know that only .35% of the US military is Jewish, but the general population is closer to 2% Jewish. We are definitely a disconnected group. Thank you for your blog- I’m going to call my brother and remind him of how much I appreciate his sacrifice. In a country with so much freedom, its important for us to remember and honor the sacrifices made to achieve it. Sometimes I feel guilty that I didn’t serve, but that’s a topic for another blog reply.
So Cnty Voters http://edb.sonoma-county.org/documents/2011/economic_demographic_profile_2011.pdf
Military political identification- http://www.gallup.com/poll/118684/military-veterans-ages-tend-republican.aspx
Active duty percentages: https://www.census.gov/population/www/cen2000/censusatlas/pdf/12_Military-Service.pdf
Jewish active duty military: http://www.vosizneias.com/43746/2009/11/25/new-yor,-should-more-Jews-join-the-u-s-military/
Thank you Emery and Rabbi George for such thoughtful articles.
Made us re-think this “holiday”.
Your essay is a welcomed analysis of striking differences in two nation’s approach to the same memorialization challenge. It raises the question of whether or not some in the CST “family” might hold a short special service close to or even on Memorial Day itself to help “raise the bar.”
As for differences between the nations there are two or more War Memorials in Israel that recognize fallen enemy soldiers were the sons and daughters of people like the Israelis, people whose blood also ran red. I do not know of any such empathetic and compassionate monuments in the USA, and hope some day soon we are equal to developing them.
Thank you, Rabbi George, for your great heart and your wisdom. Our family have memories of Yom Hazikaron in past years, such a moving experience. Even more, your words regarding the military of the U.S. , or of any nation for that matter, are so very important for us to take to heart.
With much appreciation,
Joy Danzig
Thank you. In appreciation of RG’s well-focused observations and the supporting comments, which I heartily agree with, I suggest we buddy-up to volunteer in ways that can make a difference in veterans’ lives here. A quick look on the Internet shows several opportunities for volunteers wanting to help vets. Will you be my buddy? Let me know please.
For just 3 examples, http://www.scvets.org; http://www.dvnf.org; https://vcsc.volunteereasy.com/default.aspx; and here’s an idea from North Carolina that’s likely a great fit for many in our area: http://veteranshealingfarm.org/about/ . Just a starter list. You, my buddy, and I can take it further. Let me know!