The Voice: Photo and Bio
We would like to publish your child’s photograph in The Voice during the month of their Bar/Bat Mitzvah. Please provide the CST office with a headshot of your child two months prior to your child’s Bar/Bat Mitzvah. The picture may be of any size or color, and should be a close up of your child’s face and shoulders. Also include a brief message from your child (100 words or less) that describes his/her Mitzvah project and what his/her torah portion means to them. The announcement should also include a one-sentence invitation from the parents to the congregation that will accompany the photograph in our newsletter
Oneg Shabbat, Friday Evening
Congregation Shomrei Torah includes an Oneg Shabbat before and after our services, except on the 2nd Shabbat of the month.
If an Oneg Shabbat is scheduled, the Bar/Bat Mitzvah family may host the Oneg Shabbat after services on the Friday night before the Bar/Bat Mitzvah Service. This is a special way for those close to you in the congregation to participate in your big event. Invite your friends in the congregation, other Bar/Bat Mitzvah families, and family in the area to sponsor the Oneg Shabbat on Friday night. Shomrei Torah has a volunteer Oneg Coordinator who helps congregants plan and prepare for the Oneg Shabbat and can provide any information you may need. Please call the office to get the name and contact information for this year’s Oneg Coordinator.
On the 2nd Shabbat of every month there is a Rabbi’s Tisch. The Rabbi’s Tisch is an alternative Shabbat experience consisting of a catered dinner followed by a lively discussion. Your family and friends are welcome to join. Please let the office know in advance if you will be attending. There is a $10 per person fee for the catered meal.
The Commemorative Service Booklet
Vikki will provide, upon request, a Microsoft Word document template that families can use to create a commemorative service booklet. Since this document has no religious purpose but rather is designed to mark the occasion of the service and record
who participated, families are completely responsible for creating, duplicating, distributing the booklets, and removing them from the prayer books after the service. No booklets will be allowed that deviate from the template provided. Families are not required to create a service booklet.
Wearing a Kippa and Tallit
According to Jewish tradition, a kippa is worn by Jewish males at all times, and a tallit is worn by Jewish males at every morning service (Shabbat and weekdays), except on Tisha b’Av. In our community many women also wear a kippa and tallit. We would encourage all Jewish adults participating in an aliyah, or as hagbah or g’lilah to wear a kippa and tallit. There are several available on the rack when entering the sanctuary. A tallit should not be taken into the bathroom. Once you have said the blessing for wearing a tallit, there is no need to repeat it when you put the tallit back on.
Greeters
Please choose two adult greeters from the congregation and ask them to be on the job at 9:45 on the morning of your event and remain in the Shalom Hall until the service begins. Their role is to be welcoming to guests as they arrive, hand out the prayer books and answer questions. Greeters should be informed as to whether or
not there is a commemorative service booklet to be placed inside prayer books.
Greeters should also be able to direct guests to the restrooms. If there is a service booklet, please have your greeters REMOVE and discard any booklets which remain in the prayer books before returning the prayer books to the cart.
Guest List
One goal of Congregation Shomrei Torah is to create a cohesive and mutually supportive community of our Jewish young people. We foster this sense of connection through sharing the experience of Bar/Bat Mitzvah and the attendant celebrations and parties. Therefore, we expect that you will invite every student in your child’s Religious School class to both the Bat/Bar Mitzvah Service and party.
Video and Still Photos
The following policy is designed to guide your photographer/videographer, as well as your family and friends in the required protocol of our Temple. You should
advise family and friends to put their cameras away (and turn off their cell phones!) during the service so that they may be fully present to experience the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service.
Please advise your photographer/videographer of the policy prior to the service:
Photography is allowed only before and after the service. No photography is
allowed once the service has begun. PLEASE, complete any photos and remove any equipment, by 10:15 AM.
The Ark may be opened for photography before or after the service, but
the family must obtain permission from the Rabbi before removing the Torah
from the Ark.
Video recording during the service is permitted using a single stationary camera without lights. The camera and its operator must remain stationary during the service at the back of the sanctuary, behind the last row of chairs.
Once the service is over, photographers or videographers are free to take footage, with or without flash, and from any location in the sanctuary or adjoining areas.
Some suggestions for your reception or Kiddush Luncheon
The religious part of the Bar/Bat Mitzvah service occurs in the sanctuary. Choosing to focus on Jewish values during your later celebration will continue to sanctify the
day and make it special and memorable. Remember, everything we do with our
children teaches them something.
Traditionally Bar/Bat Mitzvah families at CST have extended hospitality for the reception to the general congregation. In addition to those you send invitations, generally from 10-20 congregants will attend. The reception can range from very basic (challah, wine and hors d’oeuvres or dessert only) to a full luncheon. Please download Facilities Regulations, Kashrut Policy.
Decide as a family what you are celebrating and what this
moment in your life means. This decision will help guide you through the rest
of the planning stages.
Theme
Having a theme for your celebration might help you organize your vision for the day as well as serve as an educational tool for your family and friends. The challenge
is to find an appropriate, relevant idea that reflects the Jewish values important to you. You might want to focus on a value or mitzvah addressed
in your Torah portion. For example:
- B’reishit, the first portion in Genesis, is about Creation. Use the theme of tikkun olam, “repairing the world,” and incorporate an
environmental project into your celebration. Or consider creating or beginning
something that will benefit the world in some way. In “eco-friendly” there are
myriad of options to explore.
- The Torah portion Noach lends itself to the theme of showing
kindness to animals. You can find out
about species that are becoming extinct, get information about what we can do
to help, and distribute it to your guests.
You can ask guests to bring old towels, leashes, food, etc., and donate
them to a local animal shelter.
- There is a portion in
Genesis called Toldot, which means “Generations.” You might use this
occasion to learn about the generations in your family. Make a family tree and use it as table centerpieces. You might also consider participating with The Remember Us Project which invites all children preparing for Bar/Bat Mitzvah to connect with the memories of children who were lost in the Holocaust before they could be called to the Torah.
- Your Torah portion might speak about blessings. You may decide to
think about the blessings you have in your life and try to ensure that others
who are less fortunate are blessed in similar ways. For example, food is a blessing. Organize a collection of canned goods and spend some time at the food pantry, shelving supplies. Use canned food as the centerpiece for your tables and then donate the food to the hungry.
Tzedakah
The invitation sets the tone for the celebration and can let your guests know what is important to you. In lieu of sending an expensive invitation, utilize your desktop
publishing skills and make your own. Note on the back of the card that the simplicity of the invitation represents a donation to a tzedakah
organization that you chose. The thank-you note can also be produced in this way.
- Donate 3% of the total cost
of food to Mazon, an organization that helps feed hungry people
nationwide. If you contact them ahead of
time, they will send you cards to put on your tables, indicating that you have
made a contribution.
- Make either a financial
donation to or purchase something specific for the temple, religious school, or
temple library in honor of your becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah.
- Made a donation to the
Rabbi’s Discretionary Fund or The Religious School Fund.
- Donate your security
deposit to the STaRS scholarship fund.
Centerpieces
Choose something simple. Cut flowers can be beautiful and elegant on any table and can be donated to a local nursing home after the party. If you want, choose something that goes with your theme if you have one. For example, if your theme is Famous Jewish Sports Figures and you decide to use sports equipment as part of your centerpiece, research which organizations can use that sports equipment and donate the centerpiece items to them after the party. Put a card on your table to let your guests know that even the sports equipment is going to be used in a Jewishly meaningful way. If your theme is Israel, you can purchase trees from the Jewish National Fund and make centerpieces that
incorporate the certificates the JNF sends you. Make your own centerpieces. Do
you dry flowers? Are you handy with woodworking? Incorporate something
personal into your decorations. Can you make a centerpiece out of something that can be donated after the party to people in need?
Keep it Jewish
Begin the meal with Kiddush and Motzi and consider ending it with
the singing of Birkat HaMazon. Some of our teens learn Birkat HaMazon at Jewish summer camps and may have had an opportunity to lead it. Consider ending
the celebration with Havdalah if the party will end late Saturday afternoon.
Begin with Havdalah before a Saturday evening event. If you would like help in including these lovely blessings, contact the Program Coordinator who can help you with resources.
Closing Thoughts
Everything you do to make your Bar/Bat Mitzvah celebration personal, filled with your
values, and meaningful will enhance the experience for all. Every celebration need not look as if it’s been shaped by the same cookie cutter. Have your celebration reflect who you are and what you believe as an individual and as a family. Make Jewish
choices, and don’t be afraid to be different. It’s worth it! The memories of how
you worked together and your incredibly meaningful celebration will last a
lifetime. Put God on the guest list for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.